keep moving forward

let’s get the day started with a nice big bowl of why the fuck am I awake 

my only skill includes falling in love with people i can’t have

• friend: you should've come with us!
• me: an invitation might have helped

holddmyheart:

holy unf

but why do famous people get things for free if they’re the ones that can afford it 

wanktissue:

my youngest sister got detention and a letter home because a boy said to her “girls don’t fart” so she sat on him and farted i’m actually dying 

realitybl0ws:

heres to all the kids who have never found their name on anything in a souvenir store

phistbump:

i actually make myself laugh really hard so if no one else laughs it doesnt matter because i already made the most important person in the room laugh

drunktrophywife:

Amanda Bynes wasn’t allowed on a flight because she didn’t have proper id because the id she tried to use was “im Amanda Bynes google me”

i-like-pigeons:

Things that I write:

• Sins

Things that I don’t write:

• Tragedies

Things people haven’t heard of

• Closing the god damn door

Things the Bride is:

• A whore

Things I wouldn’t be caught dead in: 

• This Place

dilclo:

i do believe in karma bc one time i helped a girl pick up books she dropped on  the floor and at lunch instead of five chicken nuggets the lunch lady gave me six

disneyprincest:

i hate when you voluntarily tell your parents some information about your life because you think you can trust them and then they bitch at you for it like congrats you have guaranteed that i will never tell you anything ever again